


Ex-Orb-itance

by brsb4hls



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Supernatural
Genre: Aftercare, Alcohol, Anal Sex, Bondage, Bottom Crowley (Good Omens), Bottom Dean Winchester, Case Fic, Castiel only mentioned, Crossover, Dialogue Heavy, Face-Fucking, Frottage, Humor, Ignoring Chuck's existence for this, M/M, Megstiel only mentioned, Mid Canon Supernatural, No Lube, Sam's complicated relationship with angels, Sibling Incest, Smoking, Sub Crowley (Good Omens), Top Aziraphale, Top Sam Winchester, Verbal Humiliation, Winchester-typical swearing, Winchester-typical violence, angelwings, dom aziraphale, established relationships - Freeform, post canon good omens, safeword, well kinda
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-18
Updated: 2019-08-18
Packaged: 2020-09-06 09:49:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20289478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brsb4hls/pseuds/brsb4hls
Summary: The Winchesters 'misplace' an artifact needed for a case and try to get it back. A red haired demon takes an interest in it. Aziraphale just wants to buy some books.





	Ex-Orb-itance

**Author's Note:**

> I was looking for a Good Omens/Supernatural Crossover with Wincest and couldn't find one.  
So I had to make my own. If you know of any others on any platform please point me to them in the comments, I would love to read them.
> 
> Each couple stays in their lane, no mix ups.
> 
> There's a bit of smut in the beginning and a lot at the end. In the middle I just wanted the four characters to interact.
> 
> I wasn't sure how to tag some stuff, if I missed something, please let me know :) Also I can't get the tags sorted, they keep bouncing all over the place, edited about twenty times, how do I fix that?

\------  
Sam had a system.  
While steadily and regularily working his way through the bunker’s archives, he divided the books, artifacts and technology by three categories:  
Sorted and archived, about to be sorted and archived, and irrelevant. 

With hundreds of years time to collect, the Men of Letters had not just accumulated a vast conglomeration of supernatural paraphernalia, but also a fair share of trash.  
Trinkets that only buzzed slightly with unearthly residue and had long lost their original power, ancient technology that couldn’t be used anymore, books about fairytales that where just that, fairytales. 

There was a fourth catagory consisting of the items Sam was currently working on.  
He usually dragged those up to the library and kept them on one of the two tables in neatly stacked boxes.

Unless it was for research and under Sam’s eagle eyed supervision, Dean was only supposed to touch the third, irrelevant category.  
Still, when Sam wanted to take up his recent case work again, after finally having forced himself to sleep for a decent amount of time, he found one of his boxes missing.

Sam stared with red rimmed eyes at the desk, perplexed and temporarily confused, then started to frantically go through the pile, but he couldn’t find the small cedar wood casket he needed.

Sam cursed and stomped off, starting to look for his brother.  
He located him in the shower, standing in front of a slightly fogged mirror in a wet tank top and ratty boxers, shaving the sides of his head.

„Dean!“ Sam accused.

Dean looked up.

„What?“ he said, scanning Sam’s face, then looking up towards the top of his head.

„Want me to do you, too?“ he suggested.

Sam looked slightly baffled. „Do what now?“

„Your hair, princess. Been a while, you’re starting to look like a chick again. Not a hot one though, more like one of those patschuli hippie types with the-"

„Dean!“ Sam snapped , completely pissed off now, „where’s my fucking Orb?“

„Your what?“

„My Orb. The Orb of Apep? Ancient artifact about the size of a golf ball? Consists of multiple entwining snakes forged together in a knot. It’s made of gold.“

At the mention of gold realization started to creep into Dean’s face.

„Oh“ he said. „That thing, uhm, I think I just -sold it?“.

Sam stared at him blankly. „Why?“

„What do you mean, why? You know I sometimes sell stuff, how else am I supposed to pay for gas and food and your stupid fruity shampoo? Can’t exactly get a day job around here or keep hustling the locals. They’d chase me out of Lebanon with pitch forks.“

„Oh for fucks sake, stop bring dramatic Dean. I know we need to sell stuff, that’s what all the crates in the archives are for, the ones with the things we don’t need.“

„Yeah, I know that Sammy, that’s-"

Sam interrupted him furiously.  
„I fucking need that Orb, Dean! I have to use it for the fucking case we are working on“ Sam gritted out, clenching his jaw.

„Huh“ said Dean. „How?“

After punching the bathroom wall and stalking up to the kitchen to down three shoots of cheap bourbon, Sam felt calm enough to explain in great detail to his dense brother that, in order to take out an occult cult that worshipped an ancient Egyptian snake deity, an actual ancient artifact dedicated to that very deity might come in very handy.

After suffering through Sam’s self-rightuous monologue with a pained expression Dean swallowed his pride and a pretty big chunk of anger:

„Fine, we have to get it back, I guess, pack your stuff, then, come on.“

\------

They drove straight on to the very discrete little antique dealer Dean had sold the Orb to the evening before, only to find out that the artifact had already been shipped off to an auction house in Chicago almost instantly.

So they kept going.

On the way Dean had to hustle pool to acquire the funds needed for their spontaneous road trip, and Sam had resorted to playing poker for money. He almost ended up with a knife to the ribs.

„You know Sammy, it would have been way more effective if I had just robbed a gasstation somewhere, we’re going to lose more money than I made by selling that damn ball“ Dean helpfully concluded, after they had bailed from a shady bar just outside of Lincoln.

„No shit“ Sam mumbled, tapping his fingers against the passenger window. „Would have safed us a lot of trouble too if you weren‘t such a god damn moron.“

„Fuck you Sam, can you stop being a pissy bitch for a second? I’m really trying here and all you do is pull your passive aggressive shit and snap at me.“  
Dean’s knuckles were starting to get white on the steering wheel.

Sam raised an eyebrow sarcastically:  
„Oh, bringing out the big words. What kind of passive aggressive shit, hm?“

Dean grunted angrily, then pointed a finger sideways at Sam while trying to keep the car from swerving.  
"You’re doing that whining and huffing thing and, and making remarks and you bought ranch flavour doritos the first time we stopped. You know I wanted barbecue. Ranch tastes like ass.“

„You would know“ Sam quipped.

„Yes Sam, I would, I’m a very considerate lover.  
Right, that’s it, get out, we’re talking about this“  
Dean hissed, pulling the car onto a shoulder near a corn field.

He got out and stalked angrily around the Impala.  
Dean ripped the passenger door open.  
Sam stayed inside, arms crossed in front if his chest, jaw set defiantly.  
Dean gripped him by his shirt lapels and dragged him out.  
Sam punched him.  
Dean blinked in pain and surprise, than tackled Sam and forced him onto the ground between corn stalks. He barely managed to hold him down, Sam was bucking violently.  
Dean grabbed Sam’s hair and dragged his head back.

„Fucking listen to me you arrogant asshole“ Dean growled, „ it wasn’t my damn fault ok?“

Sam looked at him and stopped thrashing.

„How wasn’t this your fault“ Sam asked, suddenly very interested in what his brother would come up with.

„That precious ball of yours was in one of the crates where you keep the stuff we’re going to toss out. That’s where I got it from. I know your system, Sam, I’m not a fucking idiot and I don’t take shit you’re still working on.“

Sam stared at him confusedly.

„Wait, that can’t be, why would I put it there?“

„Dunno, maybe because you’ve been working non stop for three weeks once we found out about that god damn cult. You didn’t sleep, you didn’t shower, I had to drag you away to get food. All that research probably turned your brain mushy.“

Sam considered this for a moment and came to the shamefull and rare realisation that Dean was probably right.

His anger left him and he slumped back, defeated.  
„M sorry“, he mumbled. „I tend to get obssessive“.

„I know, shit’s not healthy, Sammy.“

„Why didn’t you say something earlier?“ Sam prompted.

„Tried to, but you already started on your holier-than-thou tirade and we needed to get that thing back anyways", Dean shrugged.

Sam sighed and turned his head.  
All around them was freshly grown corn.  
He patted Dean’s thigh.  
„All right let me up“.

Dean also looked around and started to grin wolfishly.

Sam raised an eyebrow. „Seriously, Dean? No! And we still have a few hours drive to Chicago.“

Dean’s grin grew wider.

„Aaaaw c’m on, Sammy. We can get that time back if I floor it.“ Dean wiggled his eyebrows and started to rotate his hips.

„You could use a little stress relief“ Dean tried „Also“, he added with a smirk„ isn’t this romantic?“

Sam looked up at him stoically. Then he abruptly grabbed Deans arms, pushed up his pelvis with a half turn and flipped them.

„Fine“ he grinned, „but you can get those damn stalks poking your ass.“

Dean was about to make a weak pun, when Sam forced his zipper down and took his already half hard cock out.  
Sam lifted himself up on his knees and pushed his own jeans and underwear just underneath his ass, starting to rub up against Dean. 

Dean hissed. „That’s gonna chafe“. 

„Don’t care, not gonna get up now“ Sam said and spit into his hand, gripping them both.  
Dean bucked up.  
Sam stroked dryly and roughly, until precome made it a bit more bearable.  
Then he stopped and planted both of his hands on the ground next to Deans head. He pushed himself up on his arms a bit and started to grind his pelvis against his brother's while Dean tried to meet his movements.

Dean already felt close, the adrenaline from their fight defintetly helping. He grabbed Sam’s ass, digging into it hard with both hands and pulled him down to get more friction. Dean bucked his hips up, rubbing his cock against Sam’s with quick little thrusts.  
Sam rutted down and Dean tried to hold him still to finish.  
Heat was pooling in his belly and his thighs shook.  
He grunted and moaned.  
"Damnit, Sammy ,can’t you…“ Dean started.  
Sam worked a hand between them, rubbing their balls together, squeezing and pressing, adding to the friction.  
It was uncomfortable, Sam had to hold himself up on one arm while the other was twisted at a weird angle. Sam gave up and let himself fall down on top of Dean. He grapped his brother’s shoulders for leverage and just rutted frantically until it got too much.  
Sam lifted himself up, leaned back on his knees and jerked himself off all over Dean’s shirt. 

„Ugh“ Dean complained with a grunt.  
„Can you…?“ He added frustrated, wiggling his hips.

Sam reached for Dean’s cock und tugged it roughly a few times. When Dean’s fingers dug into the ground and Dean started whining, Sam aimed his cock up and squeezed, while stroking his hand up and down.  
Dean made a sound of protest and relief and added to the mess on his shirt.  
He threw his head back in annoyance.  
„Real nice, bitch.“

Sam grinned. He dragged himself up and pulled his Jeans back up.  
"You wanted to fuck“ he said shrugging and started to get back to the car.  
Dean rubbed his hands over his shirt and then tried to wipe them on some corn, cursing about bratty little brothers.

\-------

Crowley groaned in frustration, slumping forward on the bed, slipping off of Aziraphale’s cock in the process.  
His arms flopped down on his side, ripped ropes hanging loosely around his wrists.

Aziraphale was bowed over him immediately, petting him down and babbling.  
"Oh dear, are you alright? You didn’t use our word, I would have stopped, you know that, what-"

"Angel!“ Crowley interrupted,  
„it'sss fine, s not that, wasss n accident“.

„Whatever do you mean, love?“ Aziraphale asked, rolling over and gently rubbing Crowley’s back.

„Wassss too excssssited“ Crowley slurred.  
„ Didn’t mean to break the ropesss, it jusssst happened.  
Have to focusss to not rip ‚em, kinda hard to concentrate when you’re pounding me like that.  
Wisssh they made ssstronger oness.“ 

"Oh dear“ Aziraphale said, pressing kisses to Crowley’s shoulder blades,  
"I’m afraid there are no ropes strong enough to hold a demon.“

„'S a sshame, wasss really gettin‘ into it.“

„Oh well, I guess I will just have to hold you a bit tighter than for now, that is to say if you still want to, ah, proceed?“

Crowley turned his head and looked up at Aziraphale, raising a damp eyebrow.

„What do you expect me to ssay to that? No, leave me hanging and go eat ssome cake? ‚Caussse I want to ‚proceed‘.

Aziraphale smiled down at him, grabbing Crowley’s legs and clambering between them again. 

„With pleasure dearest, but let’s make it quick. Now that you mentioned it I simply cannot stop thinking about that heavenly piece of lemon tarte still sitting in the fridge.“

Crowley reached back and swatted Aziraphale’s belly, making it jiggle.

\-------

About ten minutes later they were cuddled up under the blankets, Crowley resting his head on Aziraphale’s chest, Aziraphale resting a plate of lemon tarte on his tummy.

„Oh I almost forgot!“, the angel exclaimed between polishing off the plate and licking his fork,  
"There is an auction this upcoming weekend and I read about some very intriguing books being sold there. I am very much inclined to go. Would you care to accompany me? It is in Chicago, the, ah, former colonies?“

„The former- the United States angel, seriously, try to keep up sometime“  
Crowley mumbled into Aziraphales grey-blonde chesthair.  
„Hmmm, don’t really like it there and books are boring“ he went on, flicking his tongue out to make a point.

„Oh but I would very much enjoy your company, love. We could perhaps treat it like some kind of vacation? Do some sightseeing, experience the culture…“ Aziraphale tried, scratching Crowley’s scalp.

„It’s America, there isn’t that much culture yet, angel“ Crowley protested weakly, already on the way to agreeing, as Aziraphale got to massaging a certain place behind his ear.

„Fine, I’ll come, but we miracle over and don’t complain to me about the food!“

\-------

The Winchesters arrived in Chicago around 3 a.m. on Saturday morning.  
Dean pulled into a motel parking lot.  
Sam looked at him questioningly.

Dean huffed:  
„We’ve been driving for over thirteen hours, my back is killing me and I still got some of your spunk on me. I wanna bed and a shower.“

„You got any money left?“ Sam asked.  
„Cause I only got about 36 bucks and I wanna spend them on pizza, I’m starving.“

„A twenty maybe“ Dean shrugged.  
„But there might be a card left we haven’t tried“ he added, reaching over to the glove departement. 

He pulled out a cardboard box and fumbled trough it.

„There, let’s try ‚Aaron Miller‘, can’t remember that one“ he said frowning, while already climbing out of the car.

Luckily Aaron Miller was generous enough to get them a room for a night.

Inside, Dean threw this duffel on the bed next to the door and started to toe off his boots.  
Sam plopped down on the second bed, already opening his laptop.

Dean pulled off his clothes while heading for the bathroom, dropping them on the way.  
He reemerged about twenty minutes later, naked and rubbing his wet hair with a towel.

„Auction’s on Sunday“ Sam informed him without looking up.  
„So we can stop by later around noon, check out the exibition room for weak spots and do the job tomorrow night“ , he concluded.

Dean yawned in agreement and dug himself underneath the comforter without bothering to get dressed first.

Sam peered over at him.  
„You’re really gonna sleep like that and expose your ass to motel sheets“, Sam asked. „That’s gross“.

„I expose my ass to you and you're way grosser“ Dean mumbled into the pillow.  
"Go take a shower, Sammy!“.

„You left any hot water?“ Sam asked.

„Nope.“

\------

Dean parked the Impala at the backside of the auction house around 1 p.m.on Saturday. 

When they got in, Dean started to look for cameras and subtly tried to examine the guard booth up front, while Sam scanned the artefacts on display.  
After some searching, he discovered the Orb in the middle of a collection of ancient jewlery.  
It idly sat on a purple velvet pillow behind thick glass.

Sam started to approach the showcase, but stopped, when someone else stepped in front of it, examining it’s contents curiously.  
It was a tall man, who looked about Sam’s age, or maybe a bit older.  
A perfectly tailored black suit clung to his skinny frame.  
His striking red hair was done up in a ponytail. Allthough inside, the guy wore a pair of round sunglasses and Sam noticed expensive looking snake skin boots.

Sam casually got a bit closer, suddenly feeling very out of place in his cheap polyester suit.

The red haired man leaned forward, hands clasped behind his back, and stared intensly at the Orb through the glass.

„Oh Crowley, dear!“ a voice called from the other side of the room.

Sam flinched at the name and looked over.

In front of the door to the back room of the auction house stood a friendly looking, chubby, middle aged man.  
He was dressed in a classy, but old fashioned beige suite with a bowtie. His hair was white-blond and curly.  
In his hands he held a large bundle of books.

Next to him stood a tiny older woman in a burgundy corderoy dress, with short cropped white hair and huge colourfull earrings.

The red haired man unclasped his hands, subtly snapped his fingers and started to walk over to the pair, while swinging his hips excessivley.

Sam stared after him, than back at the showcase.  
The Orb was gone.

Sam blinked. Then blinked again. 

Dean tapped his shoulder.  
„Didn’t know you had a thing for gingers, Sammy.“

„Huh?“ Sam asked confusedly.

„That flashy dude over there, what are you gawking at him for?“  
Dean answered with a sideways nod.

„He just took the Orb“ Sam mumbled.

Dean looked at him blankly. „He what now? How the fuck would he do that?“

„Dunno, magic? Snapped his fingers and it was gone“ Sam explained.

„We have shit luck“ Dean stated.

Sam raised his eyebrows and wrinkled his forehead. „Maybe not. I mean, dude basically did the heavy lifting for us, might be easier to just take it from him. We just have to find out a bit more.“

The man in the black suit was now standing next to the blond one, who seemed to be talking animatedly and then shook hands with the woman in the burgundy dress.

„Who’re the others?“ Dean asked.

„I think that lady is one of the auctioneers, saw her pic on the webside. Margaret Mc-something, dunno. Other guy could be a friend or coworker, looks, like he just bought something.“

„They’re starting to leave, c’mon“ Dean urged, nudging Sam.

The blond man waved to the auctioneer and started for the front doors, while dragging the red haired man along by his elbow.

Outside they stopped on the steps to the entrance.

When Dean got out, he also paused, bending down to pretend to tie his shoe, while Sam dug around for a pack of cigarettes.  
He was lucky to find a crumpled box inside his suit jacket with about four smokes left and pulled two out, lighting them.  
He offered one to Dean, who made a face, but took it anyways. 

Sam sat down on the stairs, dragging on his cigarette, seemingly just taking a break, while he tried to listen in on the conversation a few feet to his right.

„Oh that was such a delightfull transaction, I must say, I really got some wonderfull editions here and all without having to go through the trouble of actually bidding“ the blond man said.

„Congrats angel, really happy for you and really blessedly bored. Can we get out of here now?“ the tall man pressed.

„Oh Crowley dear, do you want to leave already?  
You know, that lovely auctioneer lady told me about a quite extraordinary bookshop in Pilsen, I believe?  
It‘s on the lower west side, I was thinking we could make an additional stop there?“ the shorter guy tried, peering up through his lashes at his companion with a wide, hopefull smile.

The guy in black sighed and groaned.

„Ngk. Fine, if you really want to go, but can you do it without me? We’ll compromise, yeah? You go to your book shop, I’ll check out a record store across town. ‚Vinnie’s Venomous Vinyl‘ or something“.

„Ah that sounds like a just arrangement, love, but let’s have tea first, I feel like celebrating the new additions to my collection.  
That gorgeous cafe across the street has some absolutely delactable looking cakes",the blond man said, taking his companion‘s arm. 

They started off the stairs together.  
When they turned at the bottom, Dean saw the red haired man’s profile and caught a glimpse of yellow eyes flashing behind the sunglasses.

Sam dropped his cigarette, putting it out with his shoe.

„We got a location and a time window“ he said lowley.

„Yeah, and a species“ Dean added. „Definetly demon, shame, I was hoping for witch. Let’s go.“

\-----

Vinnie of ‚Vinnie’s Venomous Vinyl‘ could thankfully be persuaded to aid two FBI agents in a very special mission, and let Sam and Dean into the storage room of his shop, promising to send the anticipated red haired customer to them upon arrival.

Sam started to draw a devil’s trap on the floor with a sharpie and covered it up with card board.

Dean stood in front of a corner shelf, combing through some of the records piled there.  
„Pretty decent stuff here, Sammy“ he said, tapping the covers with his angel blade.

„Yeah we’re not here to buy something“ Sam grumbled. „Let’s focus, ok? So we know the red head is a demon, goes by the name of ‚Crowley‘ by the way, funny huh?“

Dean raised his eyebrows: „Wait like our Crowley?"

„Yup“ said Sam, „but pronounced a bit differently.  
Must be a common name for demons I guess. Who do you think the other guy was?“

„Dunno. Business partner or something? Probably human, didn‘t seem very demon-y to me…“ Dean mused.

„He definetely bought some books, could be occult ones, but he got them the legal way…and they seemed…close? I think they were using pet names? Weird.“  
Sam kicked at a piece of cardboard, changing it’s position slightly.

„Maybe they’re just fucking each other“ Dean suggested, wiggling his eyebrows. „Maybe the older dude has a thing for demons.“

Sam shot him a look that was half disbelieving, half annoyed.  
„Very helpfull, Dean. I just don’t want to get any unpleasant surprises in case he is some kind of supernatural freak.“

„Whatever he is, they wanted to split up, so we should catch ginger alone“ Dean shrugged.

\-------

After forty very long minutes the door to the storage room opened.  
The tall guy in black stepped inside and immediatly froze.  
"Oh bugger“ he groaned, then called after the shop owner:  
„Oi, are you serious with this shit?“

„I’m very sorry, those two gentlemen said they needed to talk to you“ Vinnie called from a safe distance.  
He reached for the door and pushed it shut.  
Vinnie did not quite understand what exactly was happening, but he didn’t really want to.  
He switched his entrance sign to ‚closed‘ and hid behind the counter in case there would be shooting. One could never know with the feds and that red haired dude definetly looked like a mob boss to him.

After the storage room door had closed, Sam stepped a bit closer to the devil’s trap and to the demon successfully caught within.

The demon regarded him with an annoyed expression.  
„Care to explain?“ he said sarcastically, waving his hand around.

„Sure“ Sam agreed, smiling, „but you might wanna start and tell us what you need the Orb of Apep for.“

„The what?“ the demon asked.

„That golden ball you napped at the auction house“ Dean provided.

The demon shuffled around a bit, glancing innocently at the ceiling.  
„I haven’t got the foggiest what you weirdos are talking about.“

Sam sighed.  
"Look, we saw you, can we cut the crap and get to it? We need the Orb, so hand it over and we minimize the consequences.“

„Or don’t, and we’ll make you“ Dean said, twirling his angel blade in his hand.

The demon looked at it confusedly.

„What’s that?“

„Pointy thing for doing stabby things“  
Dean explained helpfully, „works on your lot, on angels, all kinds of freaks.“

The demon raised his hands and held his palms out. He was just about to answer, when the air started cackling and the atmosphere shifted slightly.

In the middle of the room appeared a figure encased in cold blue light. 

Sam and Dean shielded their eyes and stepped back against the wall.

„Crowley?“ the figure asked anxiously.

„‘M here, angel“ the demon called.

The blue light faded, leaving behind the stuffy looking middle aged man with the curly blond hair the Winchesters had seen at the auction house.  
He looked around, assessing the situation.  
The demon waved at him. 

„Oh Crowley, what have you gotten yourself into? Are you quite alright love? I suddely stopped sensing you, something felt very off, so I came looking, you’re not hurt, are you dear? Whatever happend?“ the blond man fussed nervously.

„I’m alright Aziraphale, really, ask those clowns over there what happened, they got me stuck. Be carefull though-"  
the demon started to explain, but the man had already turned, facing the Winchesters, while making a waving motion. 

Dean’s angel blade got ripped from his hand and slithered clanking underneath a shelf.  
„So much for unpleasant surprises“ Sam mumbled, raising his hands in a gesture of peace. 

„Ok, let us explain please“ he tried.

Dean took a fighting stance, clenched his fists and set his jaw.

The blond man regarded them both while snapping his fingers.  
With a crack the devil’s trap broke and the demon stepped out of it, kicking at the cardboard that had concealed it.  
He rolled his neck and stretched dramatically.  
"Oh thank go- somebody, these blessed things always get me cramped up. Wait, is that sharpie?“

He peered at the broken trap with a raised eyebrow. „That’s...demeaning“

„Sorry, we didn’t have anything else“ Sam apologized reflexively.  
"Look, can we try to sort this out?  
This might have started the wrong way, but I’m sure we can fix it.  
Who are you?“ he asked the blond man.

The answer came in a booming, authoritative voice: „I am the principality Aziraphale, former guardian of the Eastern Gate.“  
Sam swallowed.  
Dean looked perplexed.  
„A princi-what? Principal? Like headmaster or-"

"Dean shut up“ Sam hissed.  
„Principality, that’s one rank higher than archangel.“

„Huh“ said Dean, blinking.

„Oh, I see you gentlemen are familiar with the terminology, and with etheral beings in general, as it may seem.  
How delightfull, saves expanding on the subject“  
the angel said in a much calmer and kinder voice.  
"Oh, and this is my partner, Crowley, Serpent of Eden- oh don’t roll your eyes at me dear, might as well give them the full title- and you are?“

"I'm Sam Winchester, this is my brother Dean.  
We really don’t want any unnecessary trouble, we are just looking for an artifact.  
It belonged to us, but we lost it somehow. We tracked it to the auction house where I think your partner, uhm, might have taken it?"

Sam regarded the angel carefully, while Dean, still ready to fight, squinted angrily at the demon.

The angel looked confused.  
"An artifact? There must be a misunderstanding.  
We were solely buying books.  
Crowley, dear, you surely didn’t take anything else, did you?“

The demon grinned sheepishly.  
„Nah, angel, I would never.“

The angel raised his eyebrows. He looked back and forth between the slightly fidgety and way too nonchalant demon and the two clearly distressed humans.

„Ah“ he said, rubbing his palms together.  
„I am positive, we can sort this out in a mutually satisfying way. And there will be no need for violence, young man“ he added, adressing Dean.

„Why don’t we all discuss this over dinner.  
Have ourselves a pleasant meal and a civilized conversation.“

„Fine“ Dean agreed, seeing no better option at the moment.  
„You pay.“

\------

They ended up at a steakhouse, since Aziraphale insisted, while Dean had voted for pizza and Crowley just wanted to go to a bar.  
Sam stayed out of the discussion.

Seated at a table with actual table cloth and more than one set of cuttlery Sam felt very out of place for the second time that day. He fiddled with the buttons of his shirt cuffs.

While waiting for their meals the brothers explained their line of work.  
Aziraphale considered it to be ‚quite gruesome‘, Crowley leaned more towards ‚lunatic‘.

Aziraphale informed the Winchesters about his arrangement and relationship with Crowley to assure them that the demon wasn’t an imminent threat.  
Crowley protested vehemently. 

At the mention of another almost apocalypse Sam and Dean just shrugged.

In the meantime, a waiter had arrived with their meals. Aziraphale had ordered a fillet steak with about every available sidedish and gleefully rubbed his palms together when his order got piled in front of him. 

Dean played it safe with burger and fries and Sam had chicken with a baked potato. 

For appearances sake Crowley went for tomato soup and miracled it into a fifty year old Glen Grant, which he contentedly spooned into his mouth.

Dean downed his glass of wine in one go and surpressed a belch.  
"I don’t get that stuff. Tastes just like bad juice to me“ he shrugged.

„Still gets the job done if you drink enough of it“ Crowley grinned.

Dean toasted him with his empty glass and pointed it at Aziraphale, who was already halfway into polishing off his side dishes.

„So you eat?“ Dean asked.  
„I mean, obviously, it’s just, I thought angels didn’t generally.“

Aziraphale delicately dabbed at his mouth with his napkin.  
„Oh I do not need to and it is frowned upon in certain angelic circles, but I myself have grown quite accustomed to it. I find it a very pleasurable experience.“

„He’s a big old hedonist“ Crowley smiled, while lovingly petting Aziraphale’s belly underneath the table.

Sam looked up with a tight face and cleared his throat.  
„Uhm, this is all really nice and it’s been really interesting to talk to you so far, but can we get to the thing we came here for? You know, the Orb?“

„Still don’t know what you’re talking about“ Crowley tried.

Aziraphale regarded him with a stern expression.  
„Now Crowley, stop lying and do come forward with the truth at last, quit your dilly dallying.“

„Fine“ the demon huffed.  
"Saw a pretty thing, wanted it, nicked it.  
It‘s what I do, I’m a demon. Not giving it back though“ he scowled.

„We need it“ Sam pressed.  
„Look, we wouldn’t have gone through all the trouble if it wasn‘t important. A lot of lives depend on it.“

„Please explain“ Aziraphale asked gently.

„See“ Sam started,  
"there’s this cult.  
The leader’s worshipping Apep, the egyptian snake god. He used a lot of black magic and got himself turned into some kind of snake monster  
-no offense-  
and is getting more powerfull by binding people to him sexually, feeding on their energy.  
He‘s controlling a whole village and if we just kill him, provided that we are even able to do that,  
the people connected to him would die.  
I think with the Orb it could be possible to reverse the sexual energy he’s using, that would weaken him and save everybody’s lives.“

„So a giant snake is basically shagging and eating a bunch of humans? Yeah, I fail to see the problem here“ Crowley shrugged.  
"Also given my very nature I should support something like that!“ 

Aziraphale turned towards him:  
„Oh well, my dear, if you want to argue in such a manner I very much like to remind you that as an angel, I am supposed to thwart your evil deeds, so hand over the artifact, if you’d be so inclined. I am afraid I must insist.“ 

Aziraphale had spoken very calmly, but with an edge, that made Sam shiver.

Crowley made a face.  
He took a very long and very slow sip of his wine, than leaned back, sighing.  
Finally, he produced a golden ball from his jacket pocket and placed it hesitantly on the table.

Dean immediatly snatched it.

„Thank you!“ Sam said.  
He took the Orb from his brother and held it up. 

„Uhm, since you are, well, kind of an expert on the, uh, snake aspect, do you perhaps know what exactly it is?“ he asked Crowley.  
"I kinda got stuck with my research.“

Crowley regarded the entwining golden snakes regretingly.  
„It’s a mating ball“ he explained.

„A what?“ Dean asked through a mouthfull of fries.

„A mating ball. See, some snakes, they procreate like this. Lotta males all trying to score so they wriggle around the females for days, make up what looks like a ball from the outside.  
Feels really nice.“ Crowley informed them. 

Then he caught Aziraphale’s side glance, blushed and quickly added  
„Not that I would know personally of course.“

„Of course“ Aziraphale mimicked, smiling amusedly.

Sam’s ears went red.  
Dean pointed his fork at the Orb.  
"So that’s what, a snake sex toy?“ 

Sam scrubbed a hand over his face.  
"No Dean, it’s a depiction of a sexual act between snakes.“

Sam turned to Crowley again.  
„And what exactly does it do?“

„With the right spell it can create sexuall energy, but also, as you assumed, reverse it.“ Crowley confirmed.

„Yeah but how? That’s the part where I got stuck“ Sam pushed.

„May I?“ Crowley asked, extending his hand. Sam frowned, than gently placed the Orb on the demon’s palm.

Crowley set his thumbs and forefingers against four of the snake bellies and pressed.  
The Orb split in the middle.  
The demon took the halves and set them back together with their top sides against each other. The Orb now looked like a chalice.  
„Like this“ Crowley stated, putting the artifact back on the table.

Dean huffed, then laughed. „ Gee Sammy, you couldn’t figure out how to open that thing? Bang up research job.“

„It’s obviously not that easy“ Sam snapped irritatedly. „You saw that you have to know where to push exactly, it’s like a puzzle.“

He took the reshaped Orb carefully off the table and slipped it into his own jacket pocket.

„Don’t know about the spell though, not really my field of expertise“ Crowley said.

„We’ll figure it out. Again, thank you!“ Sam told him.

Then he regarded Crowley again.  
„Uhm, if you don’t mind me asking, what exactly is your field of expertise? I mean, being a fallen-"

Crowley interrupted him with a growl. 

„Sorry“ Sam quickly stopped himself  
"I just thought you certainly aren‘t crossroads demon, are you?“

Crowley wrinkled his nose.  
"Ugh no, I’m not a salesman, I’m an artist.  
Way too creative to be a mere crossroads demon.  
Also, the paperwork is a nightmare.“

„Yeah I heard about that“ Sam agreed.  
"So what is it you do than?“

„Temptations mostly. Get people to do stuff they wouldn’t normally do. And inconvenience them so they get angry, leads to a chain reaction. Oh, I once turned the M25 into the sigil odegra.“

Sam perked up at that.

„Wait, you turned a motorway into a fully functioning sigil?  
How did you even manage that?  
You would have to work extremely accuratly to get it right and that is such a huge area.“  
Sam looked truely impressed.

Crowley beamed, preening visibly:  
„Well yeah, had to do some hacking to change the plans, bribe people, and I even moved some of the road markers myself“ he exitedly told Sam.

Dean grunted.  
"Great, now they’re nerding out. Wanna share a dessert?“ he asked Aziraphale.  
"Oh absolutely not, everyone gets their own"  
the angel stated gravely.

„You can have mine, too“ Sam and Crowley said simultaniously.

After dessert, Crowley took care of the bill and Sam thanked them again:  
„You helped us out a great deal and if there was something we could do to compensate we would.“

„Ah“ Aziraphale started. „There might perhaps be something. If I understood correctly you gentleman are, so to speak, authorities on the subject of, well, binding demons?“

\------

Aziraphale peeked into the trunk of the Impala curiously, while Sam dug around in it. 

Crowley carefully stroked over the hood.  
„She’s a real beauty, nice, thick american lady that, what kinda music’s she into?“

„Uhm, classic rock mostly, Led Zepplin, Blue Oyster Cult, AC/DC“ Dean answered.  
„Yours?“  
"Queen“ said Crowley.  
They both nodded in mutual agreement. 

Aziraphale’s curly head raised up over the back of the car.  
"Ah that godawfull bebop. Why can’t there be a car that likes some charming violin concerts?“

„Might wanna try a Prius for that“ Sam suggested, while handing the angel a flat wooden casket.

„Oh, thank you so much young man. It was very intriguing getting to know you and your brother. Best of luck with your, ah, mission.“

He extended his hand. Sam shook it.

Dean slapped Crowley’s arm and grinned, while getting into the car.  
„Have fun with that“ he said, nodding at the box in Aziraphale’s hand.

Sam got into the passenger side and the car peeled off. 

Crowley leaned into Aziraphale and peered at the casket.

„Think those'll work?“

„We shall find out, hm?“ Aziraphale answered with a glint in his eye.

\------

„Kinky bastards“ Dean grinned, while thrumming on the steering wheel.

„It’s always the stuck up looking types. Can you imagine what other kind of weird stuff they’d be into?“

„Don’t wanna“ Sam groaned.  
„Seriously Dean, can you drop it, talking with that angel about it was bad enough.“ 

„Aw c’mon, don’t be so uptight. Nothing wrong with getting a little creative in the sack and I bet that snake dude is really flex-"  
„Dean!“ Sam scrubbed a hand over his face.

„All right, all right. But I gotta say Sam, you’re not exactly vanilla yourself, I don’t really get your blushing virgin act.“

„That’s different“ Sam protested.  
„You’re talking about an angel, or angels, technically, seems kinda sacriligous, don’t you think?  
Also would you wanna know what exactly happened between Cas and Meg?“ 

„Ugh, fuck no, but that’s because it’s Cas, and it would be weird, not ‚cause of the whole angel thing.  
After all we’ve been through you still get kinda awestruck around them huh?“

„I guess“ Sam said, fiddling with his hands.  
„I don’t know, I mean, yeah, some of them can be real assholes, but I still hope there might be someone-something on our side up there, something better than all of this.“

„Well, right now it’s only us against the monsters, Sammy, so you wanna drive right through or get home first?“

Sam sighed.

„Let’s get it over with, we can figure out the spell on the road.“ Sam said, digging around for his laptop.

\------

„I got snake jizz in my hair“ Sam complained, dragging himself down the bunker’s stairs.

„But it worked“ Dean said happily, flicking a piece of vertebrae off his shoulder.  
"Big snakey thingy dead, everybody else de-sexed and safe. So, worth the effort.“

„You’re right“ Sam agreed. „Definetly worth the effort. Shower?“

„Hmm“ Dean hummed, pressing himself up against Sam.  
"I love scrubbing monster goo off of you, it’s hot!“

„You’re a freak“ Sam stated, dragging Dean along the hallway, already pulling off his clothes.

They arrived at the showers mostly naked.  
Dean peeled off his undershirt and Sam stepped out of his boxers.  
He turned on the spray and pushed his brother underneath it, crowding him against the wall. 

Sam bent down and bit at Dean’s neck, than made a disgusted sound and spit out.  
"Ok, shower first, that gross shit is everywhere“.

They scrubbed each other clean meticulously and Sam only had to slap Dean‘s wandering hands away about four times.

„Which room?“ Dean asked, shoving his brother out of the showers.

„You got any lube left?“

„Nah, all out, got bored during your never ending research session“ Dean confessed.

„My room then“ Sam decided, slapping Dean’s ass while padding down the hallway.  
„Oh and you could have helped instead of jerking off.“

„I helped plenty, kept myself all limber and relaxed, in perfect fighting shape“ Dean grinned.

Sam kicked the door to his room open with his hip and got inside. He swiped a few clothes and two guns of the bed and flopped down onto his back.

„All right“ he started with a toothy smile „show me how limber you are then, hop on.“

Dean raised an eyebrow.  
"Hop on? What about foreplay?“ 

Sam raised a half full bottle of lube up at him, than started to slick up his fingers.  
"On it“ he grinned.

„You are such a romantic, sweep me right of my feet“ Dean remarked, clambering onto the bed and straddling Sam backwards. 

He wiggled his ass into Sam’s face.  
Sam grabbed Dean’s hips with one hand and pressed his other one between Dean’s cheeks, rubbing a slicked finger around his hole.  
He pushed past the outer rim carefully and shoved inside. He slipped his finger in and out, twisting it. Dean groaned and started to move up and down.

When Dean was fully prepped he suddenly turned around, slapping Sam’s nipple.  
„You know what, fuck that shit. I did all the driving and my back hurts, you‘re on top.“ 

„Pillow princess“ Sam quipped, flipping them to the side.  
Dean wiggled around until he was on his belly and shook his ass.  
"Hop on“ he mumbled into the pillow.

Sam laughed and grabbed Dean’s hips. 

He slowly drove his cock into Dean’s hole, stopping a few times to let Dean adjust.

„Hate that part“ Dean grumbled. „Freakin‘ baseball bat, 's not normal“.

„Well“ Sam huffed, barely surpressing a groan,  
"if you weren’t so fucking lazy you could do me".

„I’ll show you lazy“ Dean protested, pressing his hips back.  
Sam moaned.  
Dean continued to move in sinuous circles that drove Sam wild.

He placed a broad palm between Dean’s shoulder blades, pressing him down, then pushed himself up with his other hand and started to roughly pound into his brother.

Lost in his competetiveness, Sam didn’t realize how close he got. After what felt like only about twenty thrusts, heat already coiled in his abdomen and his skin started to prickle. Sam pulled out abruptly, making Dean hiss.

„Sorry, Sam said through his sweaty bangs, „turn around“.

Dean protested weakly but obliged.  
Sam sat back on his knees and dragged Dean’s ass up into his lap, pushing inside again. 

„M close“ Sam huffed and Dean got the message and started to jerk himself quickly.  
When he felt Sam’s hips start to stutter he slapped at him.

„Pull out, don’t wanna get gross“ he demanded. 

Sam pulled out and roughly stripped his cock.  
With a loud grunt he came all over his brother’s thighs.  
Dean moaned and jerked himself faster, pushing his pelvis up and clenching his ass.  
He brought his left hand down and tugged lightly at his balls. Dean held his breath for a moment, than released it with a loud sigh and shot all over himself. 

Sam leaned over the side of the bed and picked up a shirt. He wiped his cock and than Dean’s belly and thighs with it and let it fall back on the floor.

„That’s disgusting“ Dean remarked, while Sam lay down next to him. 

„Yeah, wish you could just, I don‘t know, snap that shit away or something“ he said yawning.  
Dean pulled at the covers.

‚M not getting up for a week“ he stated. 

„Me neither“ Sam aggreed.  
"Think we can get Cas to bring us pizza?“

„Don’t even know where he is. Do you wanna pray to him for pizza, Sammy, doesn’t that feel sacriligous to you?“ Dean grinned.

„Ugh shut up, I was joking“ Sam grumbled, pulling Dean’s head against his shoulder. 

\-----

Crowley felt weightless.  
He knelt naked on the bedroom floor, long hair open and falling onto his shoulders, hands cuffed firmly behind his back.  
He was already hard in anticipation.

Aziraphale stood in front of the demon, fully clothed.  
„And you absolutely cannot get out?“ Aziraphale asked.

Crowley laughed. „No angel, can’t even use miracles, it’s like a portable sigil, I’m completely at your mercy.“ 

The devil’s traps on the sides of the cuffs glowed faintly.

„Ah, in that case, do you remember your word, dear?“ 

"Seagull“ Crowley answered.

„Very good. Colour?“ Aziraphale prompted.

„Green, apple green, come on angel, ravish that poor little demon you caught, show no remorse, unleash the wrath of heaven on me!“ 

„If you insist“ Aziraphale smiled.  
He miracled a soft green felt ball and placed it into one of Crowley’s cuffed hands.

„If you want me to stop, drop the ball. Understood?“ the angel asked seriously.

„Yes, angel“ Crowley confirmed, looking up at Aziraphale with trusting yellow eyes.

Aziraphale reached down and took Crowley’s chin in his hand. He bend and pressed a kiss to the demon’s lips.  
"Are you ready?“ he asked gently.

„More than ready, don’t hold back“ Crowley pleaded.

„Very well“ Aziraphale said, straightening himself.  
He looked down on Crowley and his face hardened. 

„Vile little snake“ he said coldly.  
"Squirming at my feet.  
You have gotten quite sure of yourself, haven‘t you? Walking around on two legs when you know your place is on the ground.“ 

Crowley shivered, precome started to bead at the head of his cock. 

„And what an evil little thing you’ve been. Whispering temptations with that sinfull, dirty mouth of yours. I shall get it cleaned for you.“

Aziraphale slowley undid the buttons of his trousers und took out his short, thick cock. It was half hard. Crowley licked his lips and swallowed.

Aziraphale roughly grapped a fist full of red hair and pulled Crowley’s face towards his crotch.

„Open your unworthy mouth, let yourself be cleansed by heavenly purity“ Aziraphale’s voice boomed.  
He forced his cock past Crowley’s lips.

Crowley felt the full stretch of it.  
He couldn’t modify his body and had to take it like he was.  
The demon started to shake. His skin prickled and his nose got filled with the scent of Aziraphale’s sweat and arousal.  
He began to feel truely lightheaded and clenched the little felt ball hard so he wouldn’t drop it accidentally.

Aziraphale had started to roughly fuck his mouth while telling him how sinfull and devilish he was. 

Crowley surrendered to the feeling of being completely used and his eyes started to drop closed.

„Look at me!“ Aziraphale commanded authoritatively. 

Crowley forced his gaze up and saw the air starting to whir.  
The atmosphere shifted and with a lout ripping sound Aziraphale’s wings burst forth, shredding his clothes and spanning the room.  
Crowley gazed at them in awe. 

Aziraphale pulled out of Crowley’s mouth.  
He reached behind the demon‘s back, grapped the chain linking the handcuffs and pulled Crowley up by it.

He turned the demon around and bend him over the bed.  
The angel draped himself over Crowley’s sweaty back and whispered into his ear: „Colour?“ 

„Green“ Crowley rasped.

Aziraphale dug his strong fingers into Crowley‘ s hips. Crowley felt the sizzling energy of a miracle and gasped into the bed as his hole stretched and slicked itself.  
He blushed deeply at the thought of Aziraphale doing this for him.

Almost immediatly Aziraphale’s cock entered him, expanding Crowley’s hole painfully.  
He wailed.  
The angel pounded into him relentlessly, pushing his face into the comforter.  
Aziraphale’s wings quivered and shook around them, sending little breaths of cool air over Crowley’s overheated skin. 

Crowley lost all feeling for time and space.  
He only sensed Aziraphale.  
His mind went blessfully blank and Crowley started to drift. 

After a while he realized sounds near his ear.  
He forced himself to focus and heard Aziraphale talking to him.

„Oh I know you can’t help it you sinfull thing, go on and soil yourself, I know you want to.“ 

Crowley whimpered.  
His abdomen cramped and he cleched around Aziraphale’s cock.  
He came hard, burrying his face into the bed and blacking out.

When he came to, he lay on his back propped up on soft pillows. The handcuffs where gone. Aziraphale gently stroked his tangled hair, wiping drool and tears from Crowley’s face with the back of his hand. 

Crowley blinked up at him.

Aziraphale smiled lovingly.  
"There you are my love. You did marvelously. So very strong, I am so proud of you my beautiful demon.“ 

Crowley blushed. „Sssstop it“ he hissed embarrassedly.

Aziraphale gently kissed his lips and slowly worked his way down Crowley’s body.  
The angel tenderly licked around Crowley’s soft cock, cleaning him.  
He ventured further down and Crowley groaned, throwing an arm over his red face.

Aziraphale emerged from between Crowley‘s legs, shimmied up the bed again and pulled Crowley towards his chest.  
He wrapped a soft blanket around him and started to stroke his arms, alternating between massaging and pressing kisses to his wrists.

„Does it hurt?“ he asked. Crowley shook his head.  
"Nah, bit sssssore is all. And cramped. Kinda wanna get my wingssss out. Guesss it’ss causse I couldn’t before.“

„Go ahead then“ Aziraphale encouraged.  
Crowley sighed and stretched. His shimmering black wings unfolded behind him.  
Aziraphale reached over and gently stroked along the feathers.  
"You are simply gorgeous“ he mumbled, kissing Crowley‘s cheek.

„So“ Aziraphale asked, while rubbing Crowley’s shoulder blades, „how did it feel?“

„Wassss perfect angel“ Crowley hissed happily. „I wasss sssso calm. Wassss nothing I could do, jusssst feel.“

He snuggled closer to Aziraphale. „Thank you, Assssiraphale“.

„Oh it was my absolute pleasure, my dear boy. Anything for my beautiful demon.“  
He kissed the top of Crowley’s head, than fished the handcuffs of the nightstand and inspected them.

„I must say, humans are quite resourcefull creatures“ he mused.

„Yeah, alwaysssss have been“ Crowley agreed, slowley letting himself drift off into a long, dreamless sleep. 

\-------------


End file.
